Dispelling Myths About Homemaking
Myth Number One: You need to be rich or at least well off to be a homemaker or stay at home mama.
Before our oldest daughter was born, a book shop nearby was going out of business and I picked up a short book titled, “You Can be a Stay at Home Mom”. It is long out of print and I don’t recall the author but it introduced me to the basics of being a stay at home mom and made me realize what was at stake. At that time Sean and I were making about the same income, neither one great (under $15,000), but both of us knew I should stay home with our new child.
When our bald headed beauty was born, our income was cut in half suddenly. We had Sean’s school loans, a mortgage, and monthly bills. Both of us drove beaters. Mine was a red Ford hatchback and I could just squeeze our daughter’s carset into the back if I drove with my knees bent up under the steering wheel. We made do and were contented doing so, knowing that building and investing in our family would pay off in the long term more than anything else.
Some quick ways we lived differently and still do for the sake of building a family and home are:
1. Shopping second hand for just about everything: cars, clothing, and furniture.
2. Cooking from scratch.
3. Beginning to make a weekly menu.
4. Growing a small garden (in the city).
Over the years I have kept a home on a very, very meager income (below the national poverty level and without public assistance)and on a very spacious income. It can be done either way. The principles are the same.
Most American families cannot fathom living simply or being contented without “having”. Do you realize most German’s live well on $17,000 a year (according to the statistics). The difference is the German idea of living well and the American’s vastly differ. Most Americans think cable, two vehicles, luxurious vacations, and the freedom to buy what they want on credit are needs.
Myth Number Two: Being a Homemaker is bad for your marriage.
Yes, I can see how coming home to a (mostly) organized home and a hot fresh meal could badly influence your husband!
Excuse my sarcasm for a moment. If, however, your husband is coming
home to a complaining, nagging wife then, yes, your marriage will
suffer. However, I believe it would be the wife’s heart issues that
would be causing the marriage feathers to be ruffled and not the
occupation of homemaking.Myth Number Three: Being a stay at home Mom may not be best for your children.
Now, is this because they are being screamed at all day or because they get read to and taught and nurtured? I’ve never seen happier, more contented children than those with mothers intent on building their homes to the glory of God.
One of my pet peeves (a gentle way of putting it) is hearing people say that they don’t have the patience to be around children – as if God shorted them. Remember that “there is no partiality with God” the next time you hear this or consider it yourself.
Instead, let us work to develop the discipline to control ourselves and keep a quiet spirit. Then the patience comes. Patience is a virtue we allow God to develop in our spirits.
When you are challenged on this issue, encourage folks who think leaving the kiddos with anyone other than a parent to research the statistics on the matter.
Myth Number Four: Being a stay at home Mom is a waste of intelligence
Because negotiating world (home) peace is an easy thing to do, right? And having to be an expert in everything from plumbing and poison control to kitchen chemistry and child behavior doesn’t take much intelligence? Let’s use our intelligence to better our families before letting it benefit a company we have no vested interest in. I don’t doubt that getting a paycheck might help us feel intelligent or recognized. Before I was a homemaker, I was a nurse. I got recognized every two weeks with a paycheck for changing bandages, taking out stitches and holding retractors for the surgeon I worked for. Woop-de-do. I like my non-paycheck job much better.
Myth Number Five: Deciding to be a stay at home mom and devote yourself to homemaking will make you grieve for company.
Find like minded women. If you are a homemaker or stay at home Mama, and you do feel like you need adult interaction during the time your husband is gone, invite a friend over for tea. It’s nice. I do it.
Cultivating a heart and home of hospitality is a good thing. Sitting around moping is not.
Myth Number Six: (This is a biggie in some Christian circles) Being your children’s mother keeps you from “real” ministry.
I cannot even imagine a good argument for this. I’ve never heard a scripturally supported one, though I’ve heard many.
Ministering from your home matters more and will more likely have a more positive impact on those around who need Christ (and perhaps a genuine friend) than being away from home during the week so you can use your gifts in a church setting. Bring baked goods to your neighbors, offer to watch a pregnant mama’s kiddos so she can rest or grow a little extra food that you share with a needy family. One of my girlfriends and neighbors ministers to me when she texts me from the grocery store to ask if she can pick up anything for me while she’s out. Ministering to your own little ones every day matters much. Just because they can’t give you recognition, a paycheck or testify up front on Sundays as to your faithfulness does not negate your home as a ministry.
Putting “ministry” before your children and family is like putting the horse before the cart in my mind. If we do not have the patience or will to minister effectively to our families, how can we minister effectively to others?
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